Today is Sasha's second day of daycare. I haven't stopped crying since I dropped her off 15 minutes ago. I think today is possibly harder than yesterday because yesterday I had no idea how hard it would be. I fantasized that she would adjust seamlessly and that I would pick her up and she would have barely noticed I was gone.
Instead, I forgot her lunch, had to bring it in and then watch her scream for me as I left, once again. When Jay and I picked her up, they told us she had a great day, one of ups and downs, but that she ate a lot and talked a lot and even slept over an hour. Still, seeing her burst into tears when she saw us walk in and her tired little face just about killed me.
So, the second day is the hardest. The "goodbye" part is awkward. I don't want to linger, I don't want to bolt. And yet, when we first get there, she's kind of dazed and transfixed and doesn't really notice I'm saying, "Goodbye, Sasha. I love you. I'll be back soon." It's only as I'm walking toward the door that she notices and our eyes catch and she starts sobbing.
But, I need to pull it together this morning. I have a five hour interview starting in about 2 hours, and I must focus.
Sasha, I am hugging you from afar.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Big Stuff
Yesterday, Jay and I brought Sasha to her daycare for a "practice" day. This means she stayed a couple of hours without us there to get her acclimated to the environment. I highly suspect these trial days are as much about getting mama adjusted as it is about getting baby adjusted. At least, that's how it worked for me.
As soon as we got there, Sasha was off exploring and chatting up the other toddlers. It was a quiet morning, with a few of the kids out sick, which made it a perfect day to get to know the school a little better. Jay and I stayed for about 10 minutes, but it was pretty clear that she was doing fine. As we were putting on our shoes to leave, she realized that we weren't bringing her with us and began to cry. I've read that in this situation, you don't want to linger, but it's even worse to sneak out. Clearly, we weren't sneaking out, but how long of a "goodbye" becomes lingering?
I didn't pick her up, I just restated that we love her and will be back to pick her up later and then we left. I didn't feel as emotional as I thought I might, mainly because I felt in my heart that she was fine and in good hands. There was a small part of me also that thought, "And now, I get to go drink coffee and read the paper All By Myself. Wheee!" So, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I was seriously tearing up and anxious on the way over, so this came as a pleasant surprise.
When I came to pick her up, she looked at me and gave me a big grin, but wasn't desperate to get up into my arms. A slight blow to my ego, but a really good sign. The teacher told me she cried for about 5 minutes, but they gave her lots of hugs and distracted her. She had a big lunch and when she saw all the kids with their sippy cups, she put down her bottle and drank from a cup. They said she talked a lot, which is not surprising, and she was clearly comfortable and happy when I came in. She walked around pointing at all her new discoveries, and one of the little boys was clearly smitten with her as he kept saying, "That's Sasha. Bye Sasha" as we got ready to go. I think he was still saying "bye Sasha" when we closed the door behind us. Sasha's first school friend!
I can't explain how wonderful seeing her adjust so well makes me feel. I know it's not the same as leaving her for eight hours, but just that little glimpse reassures me that all of this will be okay. It's a hard adjustment for me, but I do feel more confident going into her first day of school now.
As soon as we got there, Sasha was off exploring and chatting up the other toddlers. It was a quiet morning, with a few of the kids out sick, which made it a perfect day to get to know the school a little better. Jay and I stayed for about 10 minutes, but it was pretty clear that she was doing fine. As we were putting on our shoes to leave, she realized that we weren't bringing her with us and began to cry. I've read that in this situation, you don't want to linger, but it's even worse to sneak out. Clearly, we weren't sneaking out, but how long of a "goodbye" becomes lingering?
I didn't pick her up, I just restated that we love her and will be back to pick her up later and then we left. I didn't feel as emotional as I thought I might, mainly because I felt in my heart that she was fine and in good hands. There was a small part of me also that thought, "And now, I get to go drink coffee and read the paper All By Myself. Wheee!" So, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I was seriously tearing up and anxious on the way over, so this came as a pleasant surprise.
When I came to pick her up, she looked at me and gave me a big grin, but wasn't desperate to get up into my arms. A slight blow to my ego, but a really good sign. The teacher told me she cried for about 5 minutes, but they gave her lots of hugs and distracted her. She had a big lunch and when she saw all the kids with their sippy cups, she put down her bottle and drank from a cup. They said she talked a lot, which is not surprising, and she was clearly comfortable and happy when I came in. She walked around pointing at all her new discoveries, and one of the little boys was clearly smitten with her as he kept saying, "That's Sasha. Bye Sasha" as we got ready to go. I think he was still saying "bye Sasha" when we closed the door behind us. Sasha's first school friend!
I can't explain how wonderful seeing her adjust so well makes me feel. I know it's not the same as leaving her for eight hours, but just that little glimpse reassures me that all of this will be okay. It's a hard adjustment for me, but I do feel more confident going into her first day of school now.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Sunny Days, A Remembrance
There is nothing like getting out of Seattle during the cold, dark winter and taking a break in the warm sun. I hereby declare that every winter we shall take a sun break and head to warmer climates. Even during the holidays, the traditional hot cocoa and snowflakes time, I would rather be swimming in an ocean or lounging on the beach.
Lucky for us, both grandmothers live in Florida, so we have a place to go for the sun. We arrived a couple of days before Christmas and stayed with Nonna Connie at her place on Longboat Key. She lives across the street from the beach, which is a very nice place to live. Jay took Sasha in the ocean every day, which she loved. We even saw a pod of dolphins while out one evening walking the shore.
We visited with Grandma Sharon in St. Petersburg - we had lunch at Rollin' Oats and took a walk in Sawgrass Park. We didn't see any crocodiles, unfortunately, but we did see some soft shell turtles. Sasha loved all the palm trees in Florida, and even now will point out palm trees in books.
It was a lovely time and had I not waited until 3 weeks after our trip, I would have some accurate memories to share. I apologize for the vague details and will try to update after her birthday much sooner.
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