Today is Sasha's second day of daycare. I haven't stopped crying since I dropped her off 15 minutes ago. I think today is possibly harder than yesterday because yesterday I had no idea how hard it would be. I fantasized that she would adjust seamlessly and that I would pick her up and she would have barely noticed I was gone.
Instead, I forgot her lunch, had to bring it in and then watch her scream for me as I left, once again. When Jay and I picked her up, they told us she had a great day, one of ups and downs, but that she ate a lot and talked a lot and even slept over an hour. Still, seeing her burst into tears when she saw us walk in and her tired little face just about killed me.
So, the second day is the hardest. The "goodbye" part is awkward. I don't want to linger, I don't want to bolt. And yet, when we first get there, she's kind of dazed and transfixed and doesn't really notice I'm saying, "Goodbye, Sasha. I love you. I'll be back soon." It's only as I'm walking toward the door that she notices and our eyes catch and she starts sobbing.
But, I need to pull it together this morning. I have a five hour interview starting in about 2 hours, and I must focus.
Sasha, I am hugging you from afar.
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