High Five

Sorry to leave you hanging there. Things seemed pretty sad last time you checked in, didn't they? I assure you, the delay in posting was not due to me laying on the couch incapacitated with Sasha withdrawal, forced by lack of will into watching daytime television and massive binging on Hostess products. Believe me, I'm quite capable of multi-tasking. In fact, this skill has been highlighted on my resume. Is it my fault no one ever asks what it is exactly that I multi-task?

In all seriousness, the last few weeks have actually been quite good in the daycare department. Sure, the first week Sasha and I were both puddles on the floor, bursting into tears when we pulled up in front of her daycare. It did get better, though. So much better, in fact, that when I think of the possibility of her not being there (say, because no employer is wowed by my multitasking ability), a shadow of panic falls over my heart. It is clearly an amazing place and I feel so lucky that we stumbled into an opening, especially after several months of calling other daycares only to be put on long waiting lists.

I had some doubts and fears at first. Were these people to be trusted with my baby? Were they smiling to my face and then shoving choking hazards down her throat as soon as I walked out the door? Was Sasha crying from the moment I left until the moment I picked her up? Is she being picked on by the older toddlers? Would she ever forgive me?

Each day, though, brought relief as I saw her transition quickly to this new experience. For the first week or so, she'd burst into tears when she saw me walk in the door, desperately waving "bye" to everyone so that we could leave NOW. Last week something changed. She still cries in the morning, although not as much as at first, and the biggest change is when I come to pick her up. Now when she sees me, she waves and runs over to give me a hug. Then, she gets right back to whatever it was she was doing. Today I put on her coat and hat and while looking for her shoes, she ran off to play with her friends. The teacher asked her if she was going home, and she shook her head, "No."

She's matured so much in just the last few weeks of daycare, too. Her vocabulary and ability to mimic words is more refined. She interacts more pointedly with other toddlers; less parallel play and more actual interaction. She now "high-fives" and dances to the slightest hint of a song. The teacher told me that today she was dancing to the computer's start up jingle. It makes me happy to see her respond to music so joyously. She even tries to sing sometimes.

All of this makes the arduous task of looking for work and worrying about money less stressful. All of my worry can now go into finding gainful employment because I know she's safe and happy when I'm not with her. This is priceless (translation: about $1000/month).

Stay tuned for a photographic retrospective: Sasha: 2007-2008, a Year in Pictures.