Sasha: Jetsetter

Tomorrow, Sasha goes on her third trip via plane, and her fourth out-of-state trip. We are headed to sunny Florida to stay with her Nonna Connie, and to see her Grandma Sharon, for the first time. Connie lives just a short walk away from one of the finest sandy beaches I've seen, and I'm so excited to see how Sasha reacts to warm sand between her toes.

I missed posting on her 11th month birthday and December has been a busy month. There are so many great things she does and says now, like:

• When we go outside in the cold, she says, "Brrrr..."

• She loves books, which makes me so happy. She is usually walking around with a book in her hand, wanting me to read her a story. Sometimes I even see her flipping the pages and reading to herself. Her favorites are:

1. Goodnight Moon - one of her favorite things is a balloon and there is a red balloon on every other page that she enjoys pointing to.
2. Where is Baby's Belly Button?/Where is Baby's Mommy?: these are flip-up books that she absolutely adores and never tires of. I wish I could say the same - the plot is thin and the illustrations are kind of "meh," but she gets a kick out of flipping up those pages and finding what's underneath.
3. Miss Spider's Tea Party - this is a really fun book to read to her. It's essentially a counting book, but the plot has some emotional drama that she really gets sucked into. There is a page in which Miss Spider, spurned by the other bugs, sobs in lonely melancholy. Sasha wrinkles her brow and starts to cry, and then laughs with joy in the next page when Miss Spider makes a little moth friend. I love that she really gets into the story.
   
4. I am a Bunny - we read this to her every night before bed and I wonder how long this routine will last. We have little sounds and actions that we do with each page, and she looks at us impatiently if we forget to do our shtick for her. On the last page, she gives sleeping Bunny Nicholas a little pat "good night."
   

• She's becoming more and more affectionate as time passes. Most of her obvious affection is reserved for Gwen, our oldest and most Sasha-tolerant cat. She likes to give Gwen soft head butts, which are her equivalent of kisses. She also will head butt pictures of cats, puppies, and sometimes the "young mouse" in Goodnight Moon.
  

• She has started giving me hugs that just fill me heart with joy. Sometimes when I'm holding her, she'll put her hands on my cheeks and pull me in for a kiss. A few times, she has come up behind me while I've been sitting on the floor, and given my back a big hug. I love it!!

We're only 3 weeks away from her first birthday and I am amazed at how fast time has gone. In the first three months, time truly felt like it was creeping, but now it flies by and I can hardly tell what day it is anymore. I want to slow down, and yet, I'm excited to see who she becomes. She already is so fearless, funny, loving, and strong.

I'm off to pack. More from our adventures in the Sunshine State will appear soon...

It's been an incredibly emotional last couple of days for me. I started looking for work in earnest recently and now the fact that I will be a working mom has started to hit me. I've been with Sasha for the better part of 24 hours a day for the last year and I have truly loved this job. In fact, I would say that it has been the most rewarding, challenging, and fulfilling work of my life. It feels like I'm quitting a job I really love to go do... well, I don't know what. Hopefully something that I like, at least.

I've never liked the process of looking for work and now it is exceptionally hard to feel motivated. Nothing seems as important as what I'm doing now and it's difficult to find a different perspective. I'm not a "career" woman, which means I haven't honed a particular set of high-paying skills. I've had jobs I've hated, some that I've enjoyed, and others that were a means to a paycheck, but I've never bounced out of bed in the morning thinking, "Gee! I can't wait to go to work today!" When I've really enjoyed a job, it had more to do with the people I worked with rather than the job itself. This is not to say that I am not a dedicated employee; I am and I have excelled at a few positions. Motherhood, and in particular being mother to Sasha, has brought out parts of myself that I really like, talents that I didn't know I had, and I feel as though I'm about to give that up.

Intellectually, I know that there are is the possibility that I will find something I will be very happy doing, and I will continue to love and mother Sasha as well as, or perhaps better than, I have been doing all year. Yet, I feel as though I need to honor this passage of time, the closing of this door in order to appreciate the opening of the next one. Sasha is nearly one year old; no longer my itty bitty baby, but a toddler. She's walking, she's finding her voice and a language, she's becoming a little girl with big ideas. Already I feel time is moving too quickly and while I'm excited for what is around the corner, I'm mournful for the end of this year. I never understood before why mothers would feel sad at their baby's first birthday, but now I know. It's just the tiniest heartbreaking glimpse of the moment when your baby walks out the door and into her own life.

For now, though, I'll hold my babe close, kiss her until she pushes me away, and love every minute of this life with her.

Brrrrrr...

Sasha saw her first snowfall today. Loads and loads of fluffy cotton balls of snow fell from the sky. So pretty. We were at Izilla Toys, feeling overwhelmed by all the choices of books and baubles for Sasha when it started to snow. By the time we walked outside, the world was snug under a white blanket.

Photo coming soon...

Thanksgiving, walking, and other delights

Sasha's first Thanksgiving was a big success. I roasted my very first turkey and she ate it with gusto, as seen below. She also enjoyed the glazed carrots, which tempts me to just glaze all vegetables in sugar in hopes she'll eat more of them. She also liked the stuffing and mushroom gravy, but refused potatoes in any shape or flavor. She is just not a potato lover (unless it comes in the shape of a french fry). We had some friends and my sister over and we all stuffed ourselves until we almost threw up. Okay, that might have just been me.
Sasha has also been... walking!! Lots and lots of shaky, but confident, steps are being taken. She's been kind of sort of taking little steps here and there for a couple of weeks, but on Thanksgiving she really went all out and just went for it. I guess she needed her audience. Since then, she's been walking, even when not prompted with applause. Pretty soon, she'll be running. It's hard to really photograph her walking (just looks like she's standing), but here's a picture that shows off her auto mechanical skills:

Month 10

Sasha passed 10 months yesterday and we celebrated with a shopping trip to Old Navy for some new pajamas for her and some much-needed long sleeved shirts for me. I've decided to commit to updating this at least once a month on her monthly "birthday." I'll try for more posts, but I can at least commit to that and give an update of what's happened over the last month.

Month 9 gave us Sasha's first Halloween. I dressed her up as a monkey which apparently was not to her liking. Every time I put her in the monkey suit, I got icy looks like this one:
My little indignant monkey. Next year maybe she'll be able to have more of a say in what her costume will be.

This month she also started pointing at everything and everyone. We'll give her the name of a familiar object, like "star" and she'll point to the hanging star in her room. Pretty nifty. She's also started waving "hi" and "bye" but this is less consistent and usually in response to someone waving at her.

All of her top four teeth are now coming in. Her left front tooth has popped through and the teeth to the immediate left and right of that one are starting to poke through, as well. She's done really well with the teething and hasn't seemed too bothered by it other than some restless nights here and there.

The big thing that Sasha has started to do in the last few weeks is take her first steps! It started a week or so ago with one or two tiny, shaky steps. Today she took several steps on her own! It was so exciting and made me a bit teary. My little girl is growing up. I'm glad I got to witness these first few steps before she enters daycare this winter. I get sad thinking I'll miss all these fun firsts. My friend, Kyra, thinks they save the big moments for mom and dad, and I hope she's right. I've really enjoyed being able to stay home with her these last several months and I can't believe our days together are almost over.

Before the monitor gets too blurry, I'll leave you with a picture of Sasha and her friend, the alpaca.

here comes the rain again...

Did I happen to mention that Sasha is the most beautiful, brilliant baby I know? I know, I know, everyone thinks their baby is the most beautiful and brilliant, but I swear she is special. What? Everyone once in a while I just need to be one of those moms. Every once in a while I need to compulsively italicize every other word. Ahhh, all better.

Jay and I have gone to a pumpkin patch every October since we've known each other. Every year we would wander the patch, just man and woman among the squash and the mud and the rosy-cheeked children. We'd pick out our favorite pumpkin, grab a steaming cup of cider, maybe pet a goat or feed a chicken. Despite our delight in pumpkin hunting, somehow it just always felt empty; like we were missing something. Every year we'd say, "It would probably be more fun if we brought a kid with us." There was one year that a 10 year old kid followed us through the corn maize. It was kind of cute at first, but then we started getting that itchy, annoyed feeling that childless folks do when chatty 10 year olds overstay their welcome. We decided then that it wasn't just enough to bring any old kid. We needed to bring a chatty tot of our own.

Long story short, it's much more fun now that Sasha is around. Sasha picked out a beautiful pumpkin which will be carved this weekend. Thank you, Sasha, for brightening our pumpkin hunts.

The auction at Tougo Coffee Co. for the Community Birth & Family Center was a great success. We made almost $2500 which is several hundred more dollars than I had expected to make. I was nervous that the space would be too small, but it ended up being perfect for the number of people who came. It almost makes me want to do it again!

No time for that, though. Stefanie and I are plugging away again at our business plan. As always, the numbers portion of the plan has us biting our nails and we need to find some friendly salon owners to give up their start-up numbers so that we can do first year projections. I have a few leads that I can work on, so I'm crossing my fingers that someone will be nice enough to divulge some numbers.

We also met with an architect, Ariel Kemp, and we like him despite the fact that he gave us homework. It's fun homework, though - finding visuals of spaces that we like, writing narratives, mapping out the space we envision. I like his previous work and he comes highly recommended by Brian, the owner of Tougo.

I need to raise a good chunk of money, though, so if any of you win the lottery and want to share, give me a call.





Word to all the mothers.

Three More Days

Just three more days until the auction and then I lose my excuse for not posting to the blog. I've been seriously busy with this thing and when I've had a few minutes to post, I only want to sit and just not think about anything.

However, there is much to recap and I feel like as time slips away, so does the memory of all that has happened recently.

Sasha and I went on another adventure together, this time to visit Gigi-ma and Gigi-pa in Las Vegas. I am always incredibly proud of my grandparents, and our trip down there did not tarnish the image they hold in my mind. These two wonderful people rented every baby item we could possibly need, they bought the food Sasha loves, my grandfather pushed the stroller around the mall and washed bottles - they were just perfect hosts to me and my babe.

Unfortunately, our visit meant that their dogs, Dudley and Sparky, didn't eat for three days - Dudley because he was so darn thrilled to have Sasha around and Sparky because he was so darn miserable. Dudley and Sasha were the best of friends all weekend and enjoyed many rousing games of Slobber Ball. He didn't even mind when Sasha would try and eat his food. Heck, he wasn't eating it, so why not?

Here's a photo of the happy family. And no, despite our Eastern European ancestry, we are not a family of vampires. I just forgot to use the red eye flash thingy. I think it's actually called that.

Don't I have a gorgeous family??






In other Sasha news, she is continuing to prove herself to be a physical dynamo. She's lightning fast and has stood on her own several times now. She also can clap, although not quite on command. She loves to clap at the end of a song, so sing her a little ditty the next time you see her and I bet she'll clap for you. It's great for the ego.

I think she understands the word "ball" and "where is" and "kitty." She definitely understands "Daddy" and still throws a party every time Jay gets home.

Oh, the lady of the house just woke up, so I better go. I hope not to let so much time go between posts next time!

Time's A-Wastin'

I really, really suck at this whole blog thing. I seriously have been busy, though. Not just busy raising my busy daughter, but busy with working with some moms to try and get a silent auction going for the Community Birth & Family Center who has hosted the amazing First Weeks/Next Months classes and is now facing some hard times.

This involves a lot of emails, some phone calls, lots of planning, and much time. I haven't had much left over for blogging, although I have managed to find the time to read two books in the last two weeks. It helps that they were kind of fluffy summertime books, but it feels good to be reading at my usual pace again. I just reserved a bunch of books from the library, along with some children's CDs to burn for Sasha.

Sasha is growing at an alarmingly exponential rate. Well, not really growing so much as developing. She recently learned to crawl and now she's pulling herself up to stand on everything. Today she started practicing how to lower herself back down again, which should cut down on the bumps to her head. I've been a little concerned at how often she bangs her noggin, but I don't want to hinder her exploration. Hopefully she gets more graceful as time goes by and doesn't take after me, who was stuck in head injury land until I was about 13 years old. I'm quite sure I've sustained mild brain damage along the way.

Here's Sasha enjoying a nice cup of bath water:


Jay and I are planning/fantasizing about what to do for Christmas this year. We're trying to stay low budget this year, so I'm thinking a trip to Florida may not be in the cards, unfortunately. We're considering Vancouver, BC which would make me very happy. I'm going to start looking into renting an apartment or house in the city. If anyone knows of anything...

We have crawling! And teeth!

It's been an exciting week in the Hilwig household. Sasha cut her first tooth last Thursday, which was followed soon after with her second tooth breaking through today. They are still just peeking above the surface on her bottom gums, but the sharp bite is undeniable. I'm looking forward to posting photos of toothy grins!

We also officially have crawling - on her hands and knees - as of tonight. She has finally worked up the nerve to move her left hand forward. Coupled with a new sense of coordination between her legs and arms, she is a burgeoning crawling dynamo. Guess it's time to baby proof? I found out today in my refresher Infant CPR class that most household plants are not poisonous. In fact, it would take ingesting 30 leaves of a poinsettia plant to knock out a baby. Even Sasha doesn't have an appetite that big.

This week has flown by due to all the fun times we've had. On Monday, we went to our first Sitters & Rollers class as Sasha long ago graduated to the 6 - 9 month old group. It was a blast seeing all the babies sitting with straight backs in a circle, checking each other out and stealing each other's toys.

On Tuesday, we went swimming with some friends - Kyra and baby Ayla, and Jen and baby Jonas. We kept the babies from turning blue in the frigid 85 degree water by alternating our swim time with breaks in the sauna. My CPR instructor was a little concerned about both the "turning blue" and "sauna break" portions of my swimming story. Um, next time we'll get out as soon as gums start chattering and no sauna for over 1 minute.

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So, I started this THREE days ago and finally have time to get back to it.

We went swimming again on Friday, with Misha, Stuart, and Blix. Coleman Pool is great because it's a saltwater pool, is heated, and looks out over the beautiful Sound. My only complaint is that it was packed with every member of the Boys & Girls Club. We did manage to find a somewhat peaceful spot in the pool where Sasha and Blix could practice their moves. Sasha does a mean breast stroke.

I'm hoping we can get over to the Zoo today, if we can find anyone to join us. Otherwise, maybe we'll just take a walk in the Arboretum.

Here's a picture of Sasha and Jay on our blueberry picking expedition a couple of weekends ago.
They aren't really that pale.

Worst Night EVER

Ok, it probably wasn't the worst night ever. There are some nights in those first few weeks that could definitely beat last night's out. It was a big bowl of BAD, however.

She refused to take an afternoon nap yesterday, so by 6pm she was Miss Crankypants 2007 and sleep just had to be done. I put her down around 6:15pm, and then split for my Capitol Hill Mamas' Happy Hour which I look forward to every Wednesday. While I sipped my cosmopolitan and soaked up some adult conversation, Sasha was laying her first assault and Jay was taking the hits. She woke up at 7pm at which point Jay fed her. She then woke up at 7:45pm and he put her back down to sleep. I got home around 8:45pm, at which point she woke up again. And then, around 10:15, just as we were falling asleep. I thought for sure she'd settle into a longer pattern, but she woke up at 1:45am, 3:00am, and finally, 6:41am. She was in her bed until 1:45am and then came in our bed after that.

I'm really not sure what happened. The night before was near perfection and then she switched it up on us to the extreme. Jay thinks she went to bed too early. I wonder if it was skipping the afternoon nap that did it. Or maybe waking up that first time and having me be gone. Maybe swimming on Tuesday really tired her out and relaxed her into a full night's sleep. It's hard to say, but I can say for certain that parenting is a lesson in Zen.

Best Night EVER

"Wazzzup??"

I had Stephen Colbert running in the background while we practiced crawling, and she found the remote and turned it to the Weather Channel. Apparently, she is a 70 year old man trapped in the body of a six month old girl.

On the crawling front, we have definite progress. Since yesterday, she will now lift one hand off the ground while on her hands and knees, as if testing her balance. Last night, she even brought the hand forward and then one knee went forward and then she toppled over. She always gets right back up, though. Here's a shot of her gamely and gleefully trying out her crawling skills:
In other Sasha news, she has had a couple of good nights of sleep. Last night, we not only got her to fall asleep on her own, but she slept almost SIX hours in her own crib, in her own room, which is a personal best so far. I then brought her into our bed after her first night feeding, as usual, but she couldn't get comfortable. I put her back in her crib, and she passed out immediately, sleeping for another five hours. She woke up at 5am and I brought her into our bed, where she slept until 8am. I'm extremely pleased with last night's sleeping. I think she is very happy with the crib and the quiet, dark, cool environment in her room. Our bedroom is so stuffy at night and we get a lot of street noise. Heck, I'd rather sleep in her room, too.

I've been incredibly busy these days, although sometimes I think it just seems that way because Sasha is sleeping less during the day. That leaves me with limited time to do any sort of housework (darn) or catch up on emails/blogs/etc. and finally, to work on my business idea. Yes, a friend and I are hopefully starting a business together. We have a very well-formed idea that we think is going to be huge and we've possibly already found a prime location for the business. At least, the person in charge of filling the space is very interested and supportive of our idea. We're working on a business plan right now, and then I'll need to raise some money. It's not a huge amount, about equal to my student loan, actually, but I think I can do it if our business plan is solid. I'm just so confident about this idea and we've already gotten great feedback from the survey we've distributed. I'll definitely be updating more on this topic.

Ok, I probably have only a few more minutes before Sasha wakes up from her nap. Over and out!

Our trip out to visit the Hilwig clan in southern Colorado was a success. We even managed to not get kicked off of either of our flights, as seems to be the standard procedure these days for families traveling with small children. But, don't get me started on that subject! I can't recommend Southwest Airlines enough. Not only do you get to pick your seat, which is KEY if you are traveling with a baby, but the flight attendants were incredibly accommodating and sweet. One of the flight attendants even walked Sasha up and down the aisle on our way back to Seattle in order to give me a little break.

Not only did we have great service from our airline, but we were lucky enough to sit next to very kind souls on the way there and back. Sure, Sasha is irresistible, but she had her moments in which a less patient person might have given me a "look," but I couldn't have asked for better seat mates. Christie was our travel companion on the way down to Albuquerque. She held Sasha while I went to the bathroom, and even walked Sasha around the plane for a few minutes.

On our way home, we sat next to a sweet young woman named Brita, who buckled my seat belt for me and held Sasha during one of her meltdowns. She let Sasha play with her gorgeous silver jewelry and didn't bat an eye when Sasha nearly ripped her earring out of her ear. Wherever you are, Brita and Christie, thank you!

Visiting the Hilwigs was great - Jack and Sasha got along famously as you can see from this photo:
Jack is adorable and very gentlemanly towards his younger cousin. Well, besides grabbing her rear end on occasion. Who can resist?

Sasha slept better than she has since birth, which I'm attributing to the high altitude and diminished oxygen to the brain. It's been advised that we not recreate this environment in our home in order to get her to sleep through the night.

Sasha loved meeting her uncle Stuart and seeing Nonna Connie again. We all took a drive up into the mountain pass, about an hour and a half away from Alamosa. We reached an altitude of 12,000 feet above sea level. For some perspective, that's nearly the summit of Mt. Rainier. Needless to say, I was a bit light headed, but the view was worth it.

Here we are, wearing our funny hats:

Sasha also went swimming in a pool for the first time. We went with Connie to Splashland, which isn't as exciting as the name suggests, but has a very inviting, warm water pool that's perfect for babies. Sasha took to the water like a natural, kicking her legs and arms. It's inspired me to take her to the local pool this year.

All in all, a fun time was had and we already miss Stuart, Stephanie, Jack, Xandra, and Connie deeply. We especially miss Stuart's fantastic dinners that he prepares each night. Stephanie, you are a lucky woman!!

And now, I must make like a geek and skedaddle. My new Harry Potter book is calling to me from upstairs and this is the only time I have to read it. Also, Jay has been unsuccessful in getting Sasha to sleep, so I'm going upstairs to rescue him.

Good night.

Tomorrow morning Sasha and I are headed to the wild wild West to visit Jay's brother, his wife, their children, Jack and Xandra, and my mother-in-law, Connie in Alamosa, Colorado. Jack is a new addition to the Hilwig posse as of September 2006 and the two cousins have never met. I'm excited to watch the littlest Hilwigs get to know one another.

I'm very unexcited about the hot desert weather we're flying into and the fact that Alamosa is 8800 feet above sea level. I get seriously woozy in high altitudes and the heat will not make things any less wooz-able. At least it will be a "dry" heat, right? Yep, nothing beats feeling like you're a piece of meat, stretched out on a rack, turning to jerky under the sun. Everyone's right. That's much better than feeling like a large furry panther, stretched out on a limb over the Amazon river, panting through the steam trapped among the leaves of the tree you've come to die in.

Can it be? Has Seattle warped my once sun-loving soul and turned me into a lover of cold, damp, dreary days and nights? And days? And nights? And ever may it rain into eternity, Amen? Usually I don't start craving a rainy day until the end of August, but it just doesn't feel natural to be this hot in Seattle. All I'm asking for is a light sprinkle. Just something to revive the hydrangea. Of course, you'll find me complaining about the eternal gray skies in about six months. That's what happens when there are only two seasons.

Which reminds me, I need to go turn off the water sprinkler in the garden and get to packin'. I have to find Sasha's bull whip and gun holster and polish up her spurs somethin' sparkly.

Giddy-yap! Updates on the wild blue yonder coming soon.

You wouldn't know it by looking at this photo, but I was pretty much out of my mind. Thankfully, Colleen and Kiela were not. Someday I'll share my story about those first few weeks.

Sasha fell off the bed (the very one pictured) for the first time yesterday. I came home from getting my hair cut and Jay gave me a challenging directive: "I have upsetting news, but don't get upset." When he told me she fell off the bed, I looked at my smiling, trying-to-crawl baby, surmised that she was just fine, and thought, "I'm glad it wasn't on my watch." Oh, you know I worried, too, asked all the right concerned questions, but I'm really quite proud that I didn't just freak. I mean, sure, I looked up "concussion" in the American Academy of Pediatrics book we have and ran over the symptoms list a few times, but overall I was just happy that her first real "accident" was pretty minor.

At last. I have at last begun Sasha's blog - the baby book of the 21st century. Many months of avoidance and fear of my "internal editor" have passed. I can almost hear the trumpets blasting in joyous reverie as I type.

At times I've pictured Sasha years from now sitting down in her therapist's office.

Therapist: What is blocking you from really accepting your mother into your life?

Sasha: Well, she nicknamed me Boo, for starters. That was fun. Boobie. Booty. Sometimes just plain old Boobs Hilwig.

Therapist: Kids can be cruel. Anything else?

Sasha: I guess what really stings the most...? I'm sorry, can I have a Kleenex? Anyway, what hurts the most is she didn't start my blog until I was six months old. (Sasha breaks into sobs)

Therapist: It's all very clear now. I'm so sorry.

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True, not every six month old has his or her own blog, lovingly crafted by one or both parents. I know it's enough that I manage to feed, bathe, entertain, and simply love my baby. Still, I've felt a bit of a slacker in the Recording of Sasha's Life department. I hope I can avoid further procrastination and make up for that now.

The beginning:


Sasha Evelyn Hilwig. Born on 11:05pm on January 14th, 2007. You were a healthy 7lb 11oz and 20 inches. When we opened the curtains in our hospital room the morning after you were born, the air was misty with ice crystals. It was a whole new beautiful brilliant world.




A few months passed.

My big blue-eyed Boo. We've survived the first few months. Sleepless nights. Breastfeeding. Not breastfeeding. Guilt, oy vey. You had baby acne on every square inch of your otherwise peaches and cream complexion. We had visitors: Colleen (more than a visitor, an angel who got us through some rough nights), your nonna Connie, your saba Mike, 2 aunts (Kiela and Yael), and one uncle (David; we're still waiting for you to meet Uncle Zach) Mariah who cleaned the kitchen and earned a place in Heaven. The days dragged and then they flew. We would make our way out of the house, you and I, at first tentatively, uncertain. By April, we were confident, ready for summer, off on our first trip together to the Breitenbush Hot Springs with Colleen and Mariah. We blessed you under the stars and moon while you gazed up at the trees, dark and stretching toward the night sky. My love for you felt at times too big for my heart.


And now.

Here we are. You will be six months old next weekend. Six months. An age that once felt like eons away. It's all gone by so quickly. Too quickly. And then, not quickly enough. Now is the best time. To hear you crack up at the funny faces, noises, and dances your father and I gladly put on for your amusement. To watch you gaze into a face and capture that person's heart with the wise, knowing light in your eyes. To kiss your belly, your toes, your knees, your cheeks, your soft head every chance I get. I love these days.

Yes, here we are. I cannot contain all my love for you in my wholly inadequate heart. There it goes, leaking across the keyboard, drifting up towards the corners of the room and then, caught by the breeze of the ceiling fan whirring above, it's pushed gently out the open window into the dark night.

I'll be funny later, I promise. I'm going to go upstairs now and curl up around you and go to sleep. Good night, my Boo. Sweet Sasha.